Dismal Swamp, Dismal Moods

Dismal Swamp is a real place and Tobi went through awfully gloomy few days on this part of the trip. As she shares with us her daily journals keep in mind that with wonder of Bahamian islands exploration gone this journey back was for her a bit of a chore she incautiously agreed to after couple of Coronas on an empty stomach back in Miami. While never trying to shackle her in any way I was grateful she sacrificially bit her lip and helped me to deliver AfterBlue back to Canada even when, on days like these, I am sure she was ready to fly off to BC. Sunshine was no longer guaranteed and water was nasty to swim in. With two essential ingredient of Tobi's happiness gone she experienced some dismal blues and it was fairly quiet on deck and down below for next couple of days.

Maciek

Tobi's journal: Sunday June 20th

Will this ever end, I find myself wondering. Have been in the dumps yesterday and today; it's a lassitude, an unexpected feeling of uncaring that we go on. I just don't want to BE here, don't want to do anything, and don't want to participate in LIFE. I was resentful and sullen at Maciek, answering monosyllabically and though he was nice and tried to ask what was going on, I didn't want to go through it all with him. I'm ok now, not happy, but resigned again, but something in me still strongly wishes I could get off this trip... just go.

We sailed into a head wind before we started motoring, then stopped altogether as it was too rough out in the sound. I think we could have done it but Maciek just doesn't want to go on today. So we rested and read all day, doing nothing, and I am frustrated at the delay. I want to get on with my life, and I don't know if I'll make it back, I'm so impatient. So it is an unsteady balance between the uncaring feeling of "just-make-your-decision-and-keep-me-out-of-it" and the burning impatience of getting home! So I don't feel very thankful today, must work on it.

Tobi's journal: Monday June 21st

Reading "Rich Man Poor Man" by James... It's rather depressing, not helping my mood any. It's about the rise of capitalism in post-war 50's America. I hate that era for some reason.

Tobi's journal: Tuesday June 22nd

Miserable in this area. Thunderstorms and rain abound. The only good moment: when I was steering and the rain just poured down, not a shower, a drenching. Let myself get washed off, rinsed hair in the fall created by the boom. Went back inside all cozy and warm and had good God-time, reading Bible and "The Torch and the Sword".

Useful Links: Dismal Swamp Canal Welcome Center

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